


Fight flight or freeze

by Graylines



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Allusions to childhood assault, Coping, Dissociation, Dissociative Episode, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, In front of tony, Mental disability fears, Mentioned Skip Westcott, Minor Injuries, Panic Attacks, Past Rape/Non-con, Peter Parker Has Panic Attacks, Peter freaks out and now their gonna have to talk about it, Peter gets drugged and triggered by mysterio, Somewhat graphic descriptions of unwanted touch, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, flashbacks of sexual assault, not explicit, not sexually explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:55:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23206603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Graylines/pseuds/Graylines
Summary: Tony catches his hands trying to haul them away from Peter's face. It's apparently the wrong move because Peter starts screaming, "get off of me", head thrashing back against the concrete legs kicking. Tony chokes wondering for a second if he should let the kid go. His whole body is thrashing and begging for Tony to "stop, please stop, get off, get off of me".Tony feels dirty, gross under his skin when the words and tone connect in his head. Pieces falling together making the back of tony's throat burn with bile.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 15
Kudos: 223





	1. Chapter 1

To say Tony was stressed was an understatement. This mysterio guy had popped up on his radar a little over two weeks ago. Friday caught sight of him in the news right away. His alien-like appearance dropping him directly onto Tony’s watch list. He’d hit a camera repair store in Brooklyn and then some party store in Queens. Peter had caught him on his way out and had nearly taken him down right there but mysterio sprayed him in the face with some sort of hallucinogen. A refined medical version of peyote used to help trauma victims unlock repressed memories.  
The suite's ventilation system was enough to keep most of it out of his system but he’d still gotten thrown off and a little fuzzy. Tony was not happy with the whole situation. He bumped mysterio up to a level 4 avenger’s threat. Meaning if he was running around one or maybe 2 of the avengers would take care of it. In other words, it was out of Peter’s league and he was not permitted to engage with him.  
Tony had also made a few calls to drug companies and made sure they were aware of the breach. They’d gotten back to him in less than 24 hours to assure him that they took this very seriously and had not only launched an investigation but stopped all movement of the drug as well. Because it was a one or two-time use and not a prescription they didn’t need to worry about any patients actually needing it and the repercussions of this getting out were more than the company could handle.  
Now that he had a moment of somewhat peace he pulled up the sp1 model to tinker with the ventilation design maybe beef it up a little for his own peace of mind.  
He's startled out of contemplation by Friday's announcement that footage of spiderman fighting mysterio had been found on the news. Tony was in his armor before she could finish her rundown of the situation.  
Apparently, Mysterio had decided to make his official introduction to the world in the middle of midtown at six-thirty in the morning. Little was known of the situation due to the amount of fog that had mysteriously filled the area. Several pedestrians were reporting having hallucinations in the cloud of fog. Vivid and awful visions.  
Cap had already been in the area on his morning jog a stark drone air dropped him his shield on request and he was fighting alongside spiderman decked out in his blue and grey sweats. And white new balance like the middle-aged dad he was.  
Tony watches the live news footage of him weaving through the sickly green smoke flashing white and blue lights and high keening sounds all making the situation more chaotic.  
By all of Friday's scans, it seemed Mysterio was using some sort of hallucinogen in the fog coupled with a series of projectors in his suit and a speaker system both of which put out sound and color combinations specifically designed to induce stress and anxiety.  
Cap and Peter must have figured at least some of this out since they were both doing a pretty good job of staying clear of the cloud. Peter grazed a little too close on occasion to web a civilian and haul them clear of the mess. Neither had engaged directly with the target. The goal of this impromptu mission was to clear civilians and contain the danger until back up arrived.  
The danger being the asshole in the God damn fishbowl. And back up being Tony, his excellent ventilation system and ability to put a full stop to all of Mysterio's fancy gadgets. A task he already had Friday working on.  
Mysterio's projectors cut off with a hissed curse. He took a startled step away from the sound of repulsors and a step closer to spiderman perched above him on the corner of a brick bank building. The villain's eyes darted nervously up to the spider kid and back to Tony's fast approaching form.  
He makes a panic decision and grabs a bulky round canister from his belt winds his arm back and chucks it into the crowd behind him. The canister pops on impact with the street and begins spitting a dark green cloud of smoke  
Hardly a distraction. Spiderman throws a web to Mysterio with one hand and the canister with the other. He gives it a quick snap of his wrist so the smoking shell jumps off the ground and goes flying over his head and onto the empty rooftop behind him.  
Then he throws another web catching Mysterio by the shoulder. But his grip begins to fail around the time he realizes it wasn't just smoke coming from the canister. A light sheen of dark green powder has settled around his shoulders and head, a fair sprinkle resting on the bridge of his nose through the mask. Mysterio gives the web connected to him a jerk in his rush to escape and Peter jerks with it.  
The ironman armor touches down the same time spiderman makes contact with the cement displacing the colorful smoke in a twisted inverse of dye and water. Tony's heart stops.  
The kid's head smacks the concrete and bounces, he rolls over one shoulder both of his hands scraping against the concrete before flying to his face trying to wipe the dust away. That's all Tony can make out before the smoke rushes back in to cover him.  
He flinches towards Peter wanting to make sure he hasn't cracked his head open on the concrete but Cap yells something about Mysterio and Tony has to make a decision. Peter's vitals are stable and the man that tried to hurt him and other people is running.  
The angry part of him, the one that wants to hurt the man who drugged and injured peter wins out. Probably because he's only ten feet to Tony's left running.  
Taking him down is a child's play. He has the creep cuffed and on his knees in less than five minutes. Cap is still running around trying to get the last of the crying civilians clear of the fog.  
But Friday still hasn't shut off the damn noise coming from Mysterio's speakers. Eerie rattling and high pitched wines that make the hair on his arm stand on end.  
He asks Karen for a report on Peter's condition and is only mildly alarmed at the answer. "Spider-man appears to be in emotional distress and has a mild contusion on his scalp. No signs of concussion."  
All things considered, the report sounds ok, but there's a sinking feeling in his stomach that he can't quite place. A couple of stark drones have set up in the fog cloud blowing the fumes upwards so they can dissipate.  
Tony puts on a brave face moving through the fog towards where he can see Peter laying on his side one hand gingerly poking at his head. He seems still, calm. "That was quite a fall kid. Thought your spidey reflexes usually catch you."  
Spider-man's lenses flex like the kid is having trouble focusing. "Friday, are you sure there are no signs of concussion.?"  
"Karen's scanners have found no physical signs but Mr parker does seem to be confused"  
Tony kneels down next to Peter and grabs fist full of his mask trying to haul the fabric away. But Peter flinches back and out of his mask like he's been burned. Hands flying around in panic breath coming in shallow gasps. Tony takes in the glossy unfocused look in peter's eyes and relies as quickly as Karen does that Peter is having a panic attack.  
Peter's flailing hands start scrubbing at his own skin nails raking over his face grabbing at the neckline of his suite.  
Tony catches his hands trying to haul them away from Peter's face. It is apparently the wrong move because Peter starts screaming, "get off of me", head thrashing back against the concrete legs kicking. Tony chokes wondering for a second if he should let the kid go. His whole body is thrashing and begging for Tony to "stop, please stop, get off, get off of me".  
Tony feels dirty, gross under his skin when the words and tone connect in his head. Pieces falling together making tony's throat burn with bile.  
The thrusters in his wrists engage in an attempt to hold the enhanced kid to the cement so he won't hurt himself. One wild knee knocking Tony in the ribs. The kid is screeching in his ear loud even through the noise muffling from his helmet. Tears are pouring down his face.  
Steve finally makes his way over quickly taking hold of Peter's feet so he stops kicking. He throws Tony a panicked look that goes unnoticed amongst the chaos.  
The kid is screaming for him to get off over and over begging for Tony to stop. If the adrenaline of the initial call had woken him up this has him keyed up so high he's sure his heart might just give. Tony abandons Peter's wrist to take hold of his shoulders shaking him way to roughly after he's hit his head. "Peter stop" he yells began really. Needing this to stop.  
And just as quickly as he started Peter quits struggling. Stops screaming. He falls limp and boneless against the concrete. Like a wind-up doll at the end of its line. Soft and dead in Tony's grip. His breathing has gone from panicked gasps to barely perceptible rises of his chest. Head lists to the side. Tears still stream from the corners of his wide blank eyes but there are no other signs that he might be conscious. He's completely checked out.  
And Tony panics.


	2. Hands, hands, hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter's side of the events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This contains somewhat graphic depictions of rape. No explicitly sexual themes are stated however vivid recounting of unwelcome hands is present. If you are uncomfortable skip ahead to the next chapter, (when I get it up). This chapter is not completely necessary for the plot.

To say Peter's week had been weird was an understatement. He'd been on quite the emotional roller coaster. Acing his 1 on 1 in their last decathlon tournament firmly securing their advancement to regionals. Then turning around and getting drugged by some jackass in a fishbowl. Which, first of all rude, second of all who the hell does the astronaut cosplayer think he is running around in a glass helmet. A good way to lose an eye if you asked Peter.

Then he'd gone on to spend an incredible session with mr. stark in the lab sobering up from his "first drug experience" (at least that's what he'd told Mr. Stark) and taking apart the delicate inner workings of his mask so he could teach him how to put it all back together. It had been a great evening up until Mr. Stark had basically blacklisted him from following after fishbowl guy just because he got a _little_ drugged. Now he couldn't engage even if the guy was tearing up Queens. 

Peter kept his protests to a minimum after all he'd been ready to rip into Mr. Stark promptly upon getting dropped off at the tower by a sentry after being carried through the streets bridal style. But the way he'd rushed over checking Peter's pupils asking him how cloudy his head was. His panic was a bit sobering for Peter if not still embarrassing. His mentor wasn't the kind of man that wore his emotions often.

So he sat through the doting and obvious deflection without much of a fuss. Grinned and bore it as Tony promptly updated the villain's status to firmly out of peter's league. 

Now he was just glad to be headed to school this morning. He wasn't exactly a school hero or anything but his decathlon members were stoked about the competition and giving him props. And anyways he and Ned were presenting their project in robotics after school. So today was supposed to shape up into a good day. 

And ok getting an alert from Karen about an avengers level threat in the area wasn't exactly a good thing but it was always exciting. So Peter had ducked into an alley and pulled his suit on as quickly as possible. Already raring to go.

He was surprised to see fish Armstrong parading around midtown in his tacky get up so soon after holding up the Delvin's camera repair store. It was quite a leap from petty theft to public endangerment. He does have to say the weird light show he has going on is a little disorienting. And the high pitched sounds even through Karen's soundproofing are a little hair raising.

Captain America jogged onto the square right as Peter arrived caught a shield he'd been airlifted, gotta love stark tech, and attached the earpiece that had been tucked away under the strap. Peter didn't get a chance to let him know he wasn't supposed to tango with this particular baddie before Cap assigned him to crowd control. Though he figured Cap had been informed in the initial rundown of the situation from his earpiece. 

Maybe it wasn't as glorious as fighting the big fight but crowd control was important especially with confused and drugged people stumbling about screaming. And Peter wasn't jumping at the chance to go against Mr. Stark's orders so soon. Not if he was actually needed elsewhere and the situation was being handled. 

So Peter directed people away from the fog, put one guy in charge of leading other mostly sober people down an alleyway, and even carried a few of the worst cases a block over to the waiting ambulances and relayed the chemicals composition as Karen broke it down for the E.M.T.s

He was getting used to this whole acting as part of a team thing. Even got a private little thrill whenever he and Cap's paths crossed working fluidly around and with each other. He might still consider himself a solo act but working with the avengers was more than a childhood dream now. it was a reality he couldn't completely wrap his head around.

He got an alert as soon as Tony started their way. An insecure part of him worried that he might get lectured for being here after Tony told him to stay away, but Peter had only come to help the civilians. Not charging headstrong into a fight, something the two of them had been working on since Peter started training at the tower on weekends. He'd quickly come to realize that crowd control was not the same as being benched. The people, the innocent, are the reason they're here. The very thing they're fighting to protect. 

"You're doing this spider shtick for the little guy right? Well sometimes the little guy is on the ground too close to the action and we need a friendly durable hand to get him out." Tony told him.

So Peter kept his head on and webbed some of the worst victims dragging them from the cloud. 

And then the damn canister hit the ground and Peter tried to toss it clear of the crowd. Clear over his head is where it dropped a trail of dust all over Peter. His head had filled with cotton so quickly he felt gravity pulling at the extra weight immediately. 

He isn't exactly sure if he fell or not but he knows he hit something. Logic told him it was probably the ground but he felt a stiff mattress under his hands.

Hands

Hands

Hands

He's pressed into the mattress hands all over him. Crawling over his skin. In his hair gripping at the roots. Sliding up his back. Sliding down-. He chokes the feeling back.

He tries to ground himself. He's been here before. I mean he's literally been here before that's kinda how memories work. But metaphorically he's had panic attacks about this. He's relived this specific trauma a few times. And he tries to stop the spiral in its tracks. Tries to ground himself. 

What's the first thing that May always wants him to name? Five things he can see? Peter lifts his head up, eyes straining through his lenses. He can't see anything. I mean light is passing through his cornea but he can't focus enough to make anything out. His gaze sliding over the fuzzy world like water off a duck. 

He tries to physically hold his head still but his hands are just as wobbly and unsure so he ends up mostly scrubbing over his face trying to get all the dust off so he might start sobering up enough to actually handle this situation.

But his grip on reality is slipping, he can feel the pull on his conscience. And the fricking strobe lights and guttural yodeling aren't making it any easier to handle his panic. 

But it's the hard tug on his hair that slams him back against the mattress. He cries into the fabric head jerked to the side in a rough fist. The hand releases his hair only to shove its self into his mouth pressing down on his tongue with the bitter taste of skin and the cut of blunt nails. 

And he wants it out. So bad. He struggles, grabbing at the wrist. And the hand withdrawals only to grab his hands. Both his hands are pinned to the mattress. And he begs.

He's begged a lot already but a part of him still hopes, however irrationally, just one more plea might be enough to convince his attacker to release him. Other, more painful, darker things are happening to him. Things he remembers more vividly than what he ate for breakfast but he refuses to think about them. He tries to drown out the sounds with his own screams. 

Tries to stop this nightmare in its tracks. But the hands continue to hold him down. He's vaguely aware of how unnaturally warm his arms are becoming. Like friction burns on the skin of his wrists. And suddenly his legs are pinned. He isn't sure how it's possible in this position but he has him completely immobilized. Completely at his mercy. And there is no escape. No physical escape at least. 

So when the cotton in his head rattles like change in a jar he lets the cloudiness take him completely.

He relaxes into the deepest recesses of his mind and lets the memory run its course. Lets himself check out of reality and waits for _him_ to finish.


	3. Words half-spoken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unless you guys really want more I think this is the end.

Peter resurfaces amidst the not unfamiliar sounds of people rushing around him. Monitors being attached to sticky pads on his chest. Someone disengages his suit and pulls it off his upper body. The cold air chilling his damp skin.

He can hear Helen remark on his conscious state but anyone farther than a foot from him gets lost in the static so the conversation is incomprehensible from the tiny fragments he gets. Though he's sure they're just giving her the medical rundown and getting orders back.

His skin feels tight like after he's been sticking his head out the car window but all over him. He doesn't even try to lift his head the ringing gets louder with every little shift. But he does try to bring his hand up to wipe the cloudiness out of his eye. 

Instead, someone grabs him by the wrist and restrains him like they're afraid he's going to lash out or something. His brows furrow in confusion. He sort of lols his head in their direction grunting like they might know what he's asking.

Their other hand settles in his hair soothing it and also securing his head down. He isn't sure why until someone else leans in close. Helen, he guesses when her perfume registers. She tilts his head so she can poke at the side of his scalp. 

It's numb in the way he recognizes as traumatized nerves and he winces both from the strange numb tingly sensation and the knowledge that head injuries always suck.  
Too much blood, and risk of brain damage. 

If there really is one injury that scares him. Puts the fear of God in him in a way that makes him hesitant even to step in and help a civilian, it's head injuries. Losing a limb or something sounds terrible, life-altering terrible. But smashing his head open on the concrete and not being able to think right for the rest of his life. Being mentally impaired. Is scarier than anything. 

Peter's used to his unruly head just doing whatever it wants but getting injured. Permanently. Being a different person because of it, the thought makes his blood cool. 

He holds still for Helen just focusing on the hand in his hair. It's slow raking through his bangs. Rubbing in small circles and combing through again. 

He lets it lull him back to sleep. Or maybe someone gives him sedatives. Honestly, he's not paying enough attention to notice one way or another. But he knows he's asleep again. 

Hovering just under the line of unconsciousness and just above the dark place he'd surfaced from earlier. He can feel it just under him. Can remember it the way you can sometimes at the beginning of a dream you know you've had before. Knowing you just have to go through the motions to get to the end and you can wake up. But somewhere along the line, you forget and maybe you even wander off into deeper dreams. 

All he knows is he winces fully expecting to sink back into the memory only for his whole body to tense up and the full blackness of an empty sleep to pull him under instead. 

Tony panics when Peter goes stiff under his hands again. Then the kid begins to shake violently head thrown back in a sped-up reenactment of his earlier fit. Helen curses something about a chemical reaction between whatever is in his system and the medication they'd put in his iv. 

Her nurses rush around doing so many things Tony can't keep track of while trying to brace Peter's shoulders down so Helen can hold his head still. There's chaos in the room for another twenty minutes until they can get Peter somewhat stable. And even then Helen warns him that until all the drugs work their way out of his system he's vulnerable to another emotional episode like the one he had in the field or more seizures.

Helen takes her time reassuring him that he didn't hurt Peter. There are very light red marks where his forearms are irritated from the heat of his thrusters and bruising around his wrist in the shape of his gauntlets. But neither made him pass out.

She explains that "dissociating is a common response to trauma. A person can disconnect from the world in varying degrees from being emotionally detached, physically numb, unfocused and air-headed, or completely unconscious. 

Whatever unpleasant hallucination he experienced triggered his coping response and he appeared to pass out."

The explanation wasn't comforting. Peter had jerked and begged like someone was assaulting him. And Tony wasn't ready to deal with the implications.

To say he was prepared for what to do after Peter woke would be wholly false. Should he ask Peter about it? How would he even go about that? 'Hey kid, I noticed during your drug-induced panic attack that you said some concerning things and I was just wondering if you'd been r- assaulted'

He threw possible conversation openers around in his head for a while feeling more and more frustrated. Was it even his business? Something like that was really personal. And it wasn't as if Peter came to him with the information. It was more like he was being outed; as a survivor. 

There was a part of him, the emotionally stunted selfish young man he used to be that urged him to let it go. That prying would only hurt him. But he also knew that he was never a man to let a puzzle go. To not tug on the string even when it noted the yarn into a snarl. Tony doesn't rest well with unanswered questions. A fact that had ruined many relationships for him.

So he agonized over it all through his call with May and the entire time he waited by Peter's bed for a sign that he might wake up. And he still had no idea what he was gonna do. So no, he wasn't really all that prepared when Peter finally woke up. But of all the ways he'd thought about this going Peter immediately bursting into tears wasn't one of them.

He thought he'd at least get the chance to screw up the conversation before the waterworks started.

What really startled him was the, should he say, openness that peter cried with. He was always trying to act mature around Tony. Toning down the meme talk, using big words, acting like he wasn't upset or excited about things. Not to posture but just to be taken seriously. 

He'd seen Peter grit his teeth through stitches with no painkillers but this. Practically uninjured and wailing like he was dying. It sent Tony into a panic. He stumbled into the hall calling for Cho. She was already jogging towards the room. 

She immediately pulled the light pen from her pocket tilting Peter's head and shining it in his eyes. Asked him a couple of questions about the pain. He did his best to answer between sniffles and asking for May. He wasn't in pain. His scalp didn't hurt when she pressed down. And the light was very bright.

He'd pulled the blanket up around his ears trying to hide his face in the material. Tony tried to lay a comforting hand on his shoulder but Peter flinched so hard he almost smacked his head into the plastic headboard of the hospital bed. 

"Tony" Cho addressed him over the top of peter. "Can I speak with you in the hall?" He nodded, following her out. "His pupil response is good, I don't think this is a complication of the concussion."

Tony was exasperated. "He's crying like someone died Helen. If he isn't in pain what's going on?"

"I believe he's experiencing a mental regression. It's a somewhat common effect of seizures as well as a trauma response. Either as a coping mechanism or an effect of the seizure, his brain has stimulated the part of the cortex that is used most often in childhood, his basic reasoning and response. In essence, he feels distressed, he's vocalizing it, therefore an adult should be along shortly to help him. A quite literal cry for help."

Tony takes a beat too long to absorb the information. Not liking how the phrase 'cry for help' brings up unpleasant feelings. "What do we do? How do we help him?"

She hesitates. "How soon can May get here?"

"She's on her way. Another fifteen minutes maybe."

"Good. It's likely only familiar comforts of his childhood will be able to calm him down. I can't say how long the episode will last. Sometimes people slowly come out of it through conversation. Some have to be stimulated intellectually. And some just sleep it off. But the sooner we can get him calmed down the better."

Tony is still awkwardly hovering in the hall by the time May arrives. He hasn't worked up the guts to try to comfort the now sniffling Peter after he'd flinched so hard earlier. Helen gives her the rundown on his condition all of which May takes in stride. Her experience as a nurse overwhelming her fear for Peter now that she knows he has no serious injuries. 

"Are you sure you don't want to do a PET scan? The regression could be a sign of brain damage missed in the MRI." May asked after being handed his chart.

Cho shook her head. "If more serious symptoms appear or if he doesn't progress back after sleeping I'll order one. But the discomfort and introduction of radioactive material to his already mutated system could interact with his healing in unpredictable ways."

After their discussion, May climbs into the bed with Peter. They spend a couple of hours together, enough time for Tony to sneak off for a shower and some food. He stuffs cold pizza in his face and almost makes it back to the elevator without running into anyone.  
But Steve catches him last minute.

"How is he?" 

Tony hesitates at the soft vulnerable tone. "Alright, we think. A little off but Helen and May are monitoring him."

Steve nods still looking solemn and concerned like he's already figured it all out. It urks Tony irrationaly. They both heard the same thing, they're both suspicious of what it meant. But the part of Tony that's still in denial is angry that he's acting like he's already accepted it as fact. 

Tony pulls away before his emotions get the better of him. 

Peter has been lulled into a nap by May's presence and gentle brushing of her hand through his hair. She's still cuddled next to him. 

"Did you eat?" she asks him like she's his doctor and not here to anxiously sit and watch her nephew sleep. 

He nods.

"Good, why don't you trade places with me so I can go pee?" She suggests trying to slide out from under the hospital blanket.

He shakes his head quickly. "He doesn't want me to touch him."

May looks surprised. "Peter? Why, what did you do?" 

"I didn't do anything. He- there's more to today than just the concussion."

"You mean the hallucinogens, in his chart"

"He...had a very specific hallucination. Helen says it was probably something from his past. Trauma from his past. He started crying and freaking out. We had to restrain him. Then he started begging us to.. to get off of him. 

It's probably none of my business. You don't have to tell me anything. I'm just concerned because it sounded like…like someone was hurting him."

May is white as a sheet when she settles back down next to Peter wrapping him up in her arms. She looks like she's gonna start crying into his hair but bites back the urge. Kissing him on the top of the head

Tony shudders through a sigh. "Look May I don't want to pry, it's really not any of my business but I want to help. Especially with this regression, I want to know what to do; what not to do." Tony waves his hand awkwardly for a minute like he can summon the right words.

May hesitates. Pulling the blankets tighter around her and Peter tucking them under him on the far side to avoid looking Tony in the eye.

"Your right, it isn't any of your business. It's not any of ours really. Peter doesn't like to talk about it. He only told me once. I can't tell you anything; It's just not my place. Whatever your and Peter's relationship Is, it'll be up to him if and when he talks to you about it.

But if you're worried about triggers all you can really do is respect his boundaries. After...He didn't like to be touched much. Especially by men. He was wary of them in general. Anyone but Ben he treated like a threat. He wouldn't sleep in his bed anymore. Ever again really." She chokes on her last statement. Tears finally slipping down her cheeks.

"Since the whole spider thing, he started sleeping on the ceiling. Or the couch." She clears her throat and her eyes flash to his hard and serious "And whatever you do, don't call him Einstein. Don't mention the name, don't reference his theories if you can help it. Just don't."

She shakes her head emphasizing the end of her speech. Nervous hands rubbing up and down Peter's arms. Gently caressing his cheek.

Tony tastes bile again, hot and sour, and eating at the back of his teeth. He coughs to clear his throat only realizing his hands are shaking when he brings one up to cover his mouth. 

He folds into himself, all pretense of holding it together gone now that his suspicions were more or less confirmed. His elbows rest on his Knees practically level with his ears as he tries to soothe the nausea. His stomach feels cold and slimy like something left in the back of the fridge for too long. And each inhale brings the smell of latex and antiseptic to his nose.

His senses are slowly overwhelming him trying to drown out the panicked buzzing in his head. He can feel the anxiety, like tension behind his eyes. And he wonders how something could have so little effect on his life can still make it feel like everything is crashing down around him.

Tony hesitates to speak through his singed throat but the question decides it has to be asked, "Do you think he's gonna be ok? When he wakes up"

"No"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to make it clear that this fic isn't about closure. It isn't meant to be cathartic it's meant to address dissociation as a trauma response especially in relation to sexual abuse. Many people will check out in physically overwhelming situations as a result of past sexual abuse. And it can be terrifying for all parties involved, especially if the triggering situation is a consensual foreplay session that neither thought would be an issue till one person goes limp and Stares at the ceiling, though clearly, that is not this situation. And it doesn't get talked about. So little in fact that there's no concrete medical research on the topic. Only back hand speculation and victim bloggers discussing their experience and connecting dots.
> 
> I wrote this to validate those with that experience and to normalize respecting people's mental boundaries because a lot of the Time talking about it doesn't help it can just be more triggering. I want may and tony's interaction to be an example of how you should treat someone else's trauma. No matter how close you are to it you're not entitled to their story. And you're definitely not allowed to share it freely. Tony should respect Peter and his boundaries both by listening to him when he sets those boundaries and thus avoiding his triggers and by realizing that he isn't entitled to Peter's life just because he loves him.


End file.
